disclosure: this post may contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click a link and purchase something I recommended. this commission helps support me & my family and keep this blog running. please check out my disclosure policy for more details. thank you for your support!
I allow life to freak me out fairly often.
Money/jobs, responsibilities, the well-being of people I love, planning for baby… there are so, so many things that have been weighing on my mind. It all came to a head this past week when I snapped at my poor husband over something stupid and realized,
these worries are turning me into someone that I don’t want to become.
they’re turning me into a control freak, a nagging wife, an uptight grouch.
I went back and apologized (apologizing when you screw up is the #1 tool for a happy marriage in my book). We talked through some of my worries and ways we can practically address some of them. I cried.
My sweet man encouraged me to focus on being satisfied and settled where we are instead of continuously focusing on what may go wrong in a few hours/days/months.
Do I want to worry? Do I like being anxious and frustrated all day? um…no.
Then why do I do it? Because I feel like by worrying it over in my head, I am doing something about it and may find a solution/make a difference.
Is that what happens? Do I usually find a solution? No. It just brings me down and makes me cranky and generally unhappy. I talk about it with my husband and then get irritated if he doesn’t get as concerned about it as I am.
It’s a no-win situation.
Worry is a choice. We all have many things that we can worry about. I am learning to talk to God about it and listen to him instead of the worrywart monologue in the back of my head. The Lord knows and sees my problems. Trust is not my strong suit, but I am learning…bit by bit…to give Him my worries and seek His guidance. Here’s how I’m learning to handle a worry in my life right now:
My husband and I both work at a coffee shop. We have loved having jobs that are very flexible! We choose to live a very simple lifestyle and only work as much as we need to in order to pay our bills and enjoy a few simple pleasures. This has worked so well for us these first six months of marriage. It has been amazing to be able to spend a lot of time together.
We are expecting a baby in roughly 4 months, so we are thinking about maternity leave…should I return to work…I would like to stay at home with baby and avoid daycare…can we make it work on one income…if not, should I get/keep a part-time job and if so, where and how…etc.
Change is in the air! And change makes me nervous!
I lie awake at night thinking about all these changes and wondering what path we should take? If we choose a path and it doesn’t work, what then?
Worrying the problem over just makes me miserable and irritable. When the worry surfaces, I am working on talking to God about it and listening for the Spirit’s guidance. I keep it simple.
“God, please provide for us.”
“God, please give us wisdom. What should we do?”
“God, please help me with _______.”
and sometimes I leave it at that and hurry into work or jump into my next project. Other times, I remember that God is actually there and listening and that the Holy Spirit wants to guide me and help me and bless me…and when I remember that, I listen.
I speak my gut, “HELP ME!!” or “WHAT SHOULD WE DO??” and then listen. Taking those five extra minutes to listen has helped me find so much peace and truly LET GO of my worry instead of just setting it down for a moment. Sometimes I hear a whisper of it’s going to be okay, other times check into this option or just I’m here.
Sometimes I don’t hear anything, and that’s okay. The peace is not in an immediate answer, like a Magic 8 ball.
The peace is in realizing that we are not alone in our struggles.
The peace is in trusting that God is listening and cares.
The peace is in knowing that, big picture, it will all truly be okay, no matter what.
Pausing to listen for the guidance of the Spirit centers us. It reminds us of truths we know and believe, but easily forget. It calms worry and whispers truth, remember, He is here and He cares.
“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” (John 14:26 KJV)
The Spirit is here to advise and guide and lift up, to speak truth and bring joy. We just have to remember to keep an open dialogue — not only to speak our worries and struggles, but also to listen for the support and guidance we so desperately want and need. It is available to us if we only listen.
disclaimer: I am absolutely terrible at this. Changing my habits and my default “worry” setting is so hard. It’s a slow process, but it’s worth it!!!